Lean on Me
by Kikidevil17
Summary: Peter is there for Alicia after a hard blow.


A/N: Honestly this is pure fluff (but also sad) I am 150% this A/P interaction will not happen in the episode or in the show ever, so of course I had to write it because why not? This was inspired by the promo of course, where I wonder what happens next? Why is she crying? I am very sure the writers won't give us what happens next, because I believe that scene is the last scene of the episode and I doubt 620 starts there (let me be wrong please LOL). Long story short, thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it! :)

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My breathing increased with every floor the elevator shaft climbed. The burning sensation filling my lungs was almost unbearable as hot tears brimmed my eyes. I was struggling to hold it together. Enduring the embarrassment in having a fellow tenant stop my path to safety inside my apartment by climbing into this elevator with me, and witnessing a side of me only few people have seen, was the last thing I needed. Dabbing the corners of my eyes, I exhale slowly as I bite my lower lip, watching the digital number finally change to my floor. The tears are about to pour from my eyes as I rush out of the elevator and see him standing there, in the doorway. I couldn't believe my eyes. Yet, I was not one bit surprised. Of _course_ he was there looking for me to see how I was doing. It's in his nature; it's who he is. Regardless of everything I've said to him since Will died, and how I've treated him, he was always there for me. And after the day I've had, seeing him was like a confirmation of everything I already knew. He will _always_ be there for me to turn to when I feel I have nothing else or no one.

My emotions were uncontrollable once my eyes settled on him. The river of tears I was holding back finally broke free as I all but ran towards him, my eyes blinded by anguish. I had wanted to cry since this morning, my sorrow stemming from the bullshit I had to deal with today. I was planning to come home and face the harsh reality that my win for States Attorney was a lie, and that Bishop rigged the votes. Which meant I would probably have to resign before I even took office. This reality killed me inside. After all we had gone through during this campaign, after I compromised myself to the point of no return, I was now going to lose it. All the lies I told and all the things I did that I was not proud of, now seemed like an immoral waste. A complete, utter waste of time and I was going to lose it all. I was angry and heartbroken. So when I saw Peter standing there, it was my tipping point. He understood better than anyone I knew what it felt like to come down so hard from a high. I collapsed into his arms, letting him hug me tight as I squeezed his large frame, begging him without voicing to make the pain go away. At this point, I am inconceivable. The more I thought about it, the more it hurt and the harder I cried. Peter was stunned at first, I could tell. He just held me, tight against his chest like he always does. His large frame completely covered me, causing me to feel safe and untouched by the world. In his embrace, it feels like nothing could ever hurt me.

Through my sobs, I hear him say, "Shhh. It's going to be okay," as he cradles my head against his chest. He wanted to calm me down, but there was not much he could say. I just could not stop crying. I had been withholding so much pent up anger at everything and everyone until it finally burst from the welled dam. This was it; this was as much as I could take. Losing my seat was the final straw. I needed to let seven months—maybe even years—of emotion out.

I am not sure how much time had passed of us standing in the hallway as he held me, but after my cries had subsided, he whispered, deeply, "Alicia…honey. I promise, we are going to figure this out."

Finally lifting my head to meet his eyes, I question his confidence. Are we? I want to believe his words. I really do, but I am not sure. But the way he said, "we", made me want to get my strength back and be that strong woman the public knew me as. As he knew me to be. Little did everyone know, I only allowed myself to admit that my strength was partially due to the fact I always knew he would be there for me. Through sickness and in health; through the good times and the bad times. Peter will _always _be there. It became obvious to me, during the leg of my campaign that he still believed in me—in us. As I try to calm myself down, I finally loosen my arms from around his back and quickly dry the tears from my eyes.

"Are we? Are we going to figure this out?" I ask him in the lowest voice because after all of the crying I had done, I was surprised my voice wasn't too hoarse to speak.

"Yes," he says with so much assurance that I can't decide whether he is lying just to make me feel better or he's positive we will weather this storm. Whichever the case, it does not matter because it feels good to have him on my side. Lowering my head, I nestle it back into the safety of his chest. I want to cry again but the feeling of emotional exhaustion has settled in now. I feel him place a kiss on the top of my head as he caresses my back in soothing, circular motions.

"Let's go inside. You need to rest," he says to me as he guides us towards my front door.

"My keys are in my right pocket," I whisper. I don't have the energy to move anymore. Everything that is me, is drained. I feel so heartbroken; to have something unwillingly taken from me has left me feeling powerless.

He reaches for my keys and lets us both in. When we cross the threshold, I remain standing idly in the foyer, watching as he turns to close the door and lock it. I eye him as he nears me once more without uttering a word and removes my jacket, hanging it on the coat rack along with his coat. Walking back over to me, he pulls me into another tight hug and kisses my forehead.

"How about you lay down for a while? I can make you some tea," he offers and all I can do is nod.

He grabs my hand and takes us to my bedroom. I follow him, numb and void, feeling like a puppet. I don't protest when he gently pushes me to sit on the bed, and then lowers himself to his knees. I'm filled with curiosity when I observe him reach for my ankle and begin to take off my shoes. Again, I don't protest. I'm fighting the urge to not cry again. Once my shoes are off, he gets back up and plants a kiss on my forehead and motions for me to recline along the bed. I lay down willingly.

I feel so unbelievably grateful to him at this moment because if I would have came home to find no one here, I would have been alone. Grace was spending the night at Shannon's, leaving me to fill a quiet, empty house filled with my rapid thoughts. Those thoughts centering on my disappointments and heartbreak of what exactly I was going to do with my life now. Was I going to have to really resign after all the work I put into this campaign? Was it all a waste? Would this blow be so hard that it could damage my career for good? Would I have to go back to my law firm? The law firm I abandoned then threatened to go against when I was SA? I had burned _so_ many bridges. Honestly, what was I going to do now? My biggest fear really was, had I lost everything?

That's when I look at Peter who is draping an afghan across my waist and smoothing it down the length of my body. At least I have him. He is here for me, and still, I do not know why. All of last year I did nothing but push him away in every way that I could. I blocked him out when Will died, then I pushed him away during the campaign any chance I got. And yet, here he was. In the one life-changing moment I needed him, I didn't have to ask him to come. He just came. He _knew,_ because he knows me better than anyone else.

Before he turns away to get me the tea he promised, I grab his hand and give him an appreciative smile. "I don't need any tea, really. Can you just…stay here with me?" I ask him and part of me does not know where this vulnerability has come from, but I need him here. In this bed. Close to me. Even if it's just for tonight, I don't want to be alone. I had opened the floodgate of unstoppable tears and his support just felt…good.

He nods. "Okay."

I slide over to lie within the center of the bed and make room for him to lie next to me. He spoons my backside and secures his arm over my waist, holding me tight against him. A few minutes pass of us just lying there as the tears start to roll down my face once more.

"What am I going to do Peter?" I ask him, not really sure what to expect or if I even expect an answer.

"You are going to tell the truth. You had nothing to do with the voter tampering."

My eyes flutter close at the reminder of the incriminating accusation that dethroned me from my office.

"I know that. But the evidence is stalking up against me. There was voter fraud and it _did_ benefit me. Even if I did not know about it, the press is going to hound me until I resign."

"Then we will fight back. We will ask for a recount, or a special election. We will fight this in court. Anything to make this right."

"I don't think I have it in me to go through more campaigning," I whisper as I slowly shake my head. The tears come harder.

"Alicia, you are so strong. You _do_ have it in you. The question is, do you want it?"

I shake my head. "I am not sure, Peter. I feel I have lost so much of myself; I lost my way. But I also don't want to back down now. I don't want to lose something I worked so hard for. It's not fair! For God sake, I had nothing to do with that."

My anger is rising and I can feel my eyelids continue to flood. He places his hand on top of mine, and links our fingers together. The action instantly soothes me.

"I know that, babe. Look, we will get the best lawyers on this. Eli is already working on it. We will fight this as hard as we have to. You don't deserve this."

Of course he is ready to battle whoever he has to in order to make this right. Because that is who Peter is. If I tell him the world is not fair for me, he will do anything to fix it. Unlinking our hands, I roll over onto my side to now face him. The amount of concern filling his tired eyes makes my heart skip a beat.

"But maybe I do deserve this. Maybe Prady _is_ the better candidate after all."

He slightly shakes his head and swipes a tear from my cheek. "If you take the States Attorney office, will you work tirelessly to get criminals off the street?" I nod. "Would you make sure to run an effective and fair office?" I nod again causing him to smile. "Then what more can you do? You will do the job that is required as fairly as you can. What more can they ask from you? I have no doubt that if you become States Attorney, you will be a great one, and will help a lot of people."

I exhale a sigh because I don't even know what more to say. All I do is offer a smile for his encouraging words. Craning my neck upward, I meet his eyes briefly before closing my own and lightly pecking his lips. "Thank you. I am so glad you are here. It was not until I saw you that I realized I needed you here."

"You had me worried there for a bit, babe. I wasn't sure what else I could do to stop the pain."

"This," I slip an arm around his neck and angle my body closer against him, "right here was perfect," I tell him as I snuggle my head in the crook of his neck. "You being here for me means more than anything else. I know that I can always count on you and that is something I feel I have taken for granted. Yet moments like this, I am reminded, and I remember why I fell in love with you in the first place. So, thanks again for being here."

"I will always be here," he promises, holding me tighter.

Settling into his embrace, we grow quiet again as I let him hold me in his arms for God knows how many hours before drifting off to sleep. Tomorrow we will deal with what has to happen next.


End file.
